i can't remember the last time i had a lot of fun.
it could either be because i haven't had any, or because i black out a lot.
a good reason for it is because my school schedule is set up for me to never be in class.
i thought that would be a dream come true.
but it's not.
i'm just not the type of person that is going to structure my own life unless absolute necessary.
for example, i've needed to go to the gynecologist for the past couple of weeks, but still have not called to make an appointment. My next period will be a great reminder of that. ugh.
i'm in one of those moods where i just want to lock myself in my room for a week. idk if i'd accomplish a lot of things or if i'd just sleep, but i really don't feel like seeing anyone. i feel like people are starting to become fake. and that could be because i've gotten to such a high point of insanity, that people can't be real with me anymore, but regardless... it sucks. and i think, "man i just want to go home. but home sucks as well-minus my parents and dogs." so then i think, "well i can just live with my parents for the rest of my life." and then i want to strangle myself for ever even thinking those words.. and then i want to strangle myself because there aren't any options left. that's horrible. hah! jk dogg.
and people everywhere are going to be like this. regardless of my location. no terrain will ever fix these social problems. even if it IS filled with tall grass and cloudy skies.
maybe i just need to go to sleep.
goodnight!
-Tracy
[i need to be amongst these lil guys. haha look at the one with
the birthday hat! hahahaha what a cute wil guyyyyyyy heh heh.]
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